Sharing has actually snuck into many of the previous posts. Talking about your thing is a way of sharing it. Thanking people for the ways in which they help involves sharing your appreciation. And asking people for help is sharing, too.

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Writing this blog series has let me practice sharing.

More important, it’s let me practice sharing in an improvisational and imperfect way. It’s helped me continue to practice my biggest improvisational lesson — finding a place to begin and then figuring it out as I go.

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As I’ve mentioned (once or twice *wink*), I prefer to operate out of the limelight. I like to work out all the details ahead of time and in private and then present a perfect, polished finished result. Studying spontaneous singing helps counteract that tendency (at least some of the time *smile*).

Case in point, I had no idea what the posts of for Passion Pays the Bills would be like. I just posted the list and then challenged myself to expand on it.

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Once I was in it, however, I could start to see a path. Kind of like untangling a ball of yarn. You can’t work it out by looking at it, you’ve got to get in there and starting pulling strands. The important part is picking up the yarn in the first place.

If I had forced myself to write the whole series before sharing it with you, we would be starting a new year without anyone having read any of these posts. (Because I wouldn’t have written them.)

Giving myself permission to write one post at a time — often not knowing what I was going to say each week until I finished the post — let me explore what each topic meant to me and to articulate what I’ve learned.

(It’s interesting that the posts that were the hardest for me to write were the ones that garnered the most response. It was as if these slippery topics — talking about your thing, asking for help and using what you know — resonated so strongly because they were … well … slippery.)

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But, to be honest, when I jotted “share what you know” on the list, I meant sharing in a more direct way.

Sharing resources and information and time and energy. Cooperating and collaborating to support other people in their passions while you grow your own.

Becoming a helper, mentor, consultant or expert are all ways to share what you know and help your passion (and your bank account) grow.

You start a blog and wait for people to discover it. You advertise your class and wait for people to register. You invite people to your events and then wait for them to accept.

That’s where patience comes in. Or as a friend of mine calls it — quiet tenacity.

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Patience (and commitment!) keeps you doing your thing even when it seems like no one’s paying attention.

That is why it’s crucial to pick something you are passionate about. You need to love what you are doing so much that you will do it even when there’s no recognition, audience or money.

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I began hosting monthly Songtaneous sessions in 2006. I’ve held nearly 40 sessions to date. Sometimes I’ve been tired, or busy or only one person came, but I keep this commitment because I want a spontaneous singing space and I want to be a member of a diverse singing community.

(In fact, I’m passionate about both of these things. *wink*)

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When I worked in publishing, we identified three years as a common timetable for our customers to adopt a new program or product we created.

(I know you’re thinking THREE YEARS?!? It’s not as long as it sounds. Here’s why.)

Three years is the time it takes for you to  …

1. figure out what you’re doing (in business speak, we call it “product development”)
2. figure out how to explain what you’re doing — and why it’s awesome — to other people (a.k.a. your message)
3. widely share information about what you’re doing — and why it’s awesome — with interested people (a.k.a. marketing)

Depending on what type of person you are, these three steps might take three years (*smile*). But after these steps, you enter a part of the process over which you have no control. (Sorry.)

It’s the chunk of time you spend waiting for your audience to decide they want your thing.

That might take six months or a year. Or two years.

(As the songs says, “You can’t hurry love.“)

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Be patient.

You don’t know what’s happening out there.

I can’t tell you the number of times someone who comes to Songtaneous tells me that they’ve been getting my emails for months. Or how often someone misses Songtaneous for months and then emails me about a blog post or shows up at a singing session.

Or take the time I ran into a woman at a concert who excitedly announced — “You’re that singing lady! I’m so glad I bumped into you. I lost your info and having been trying to find you!”

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Long story short? People are busy.

People have lives and jobs and relationships and kids. People lose business cards and phone numbers. People have things that they’re passionate about. And it might not be your thing. (S’ok, the reason you talk about your thing is to find the people who are.)

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Sure, it can be frustrating (disheartening, exhausting, discouraging, etc.) to keep putting energy out there and feel like nothing is happening.

But if you are genuinely and passionately going about doing your thing, people will notice. And care. And show up.

Just be patient.

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Remember Songtaneous is THIS Saturday, December 5 at 2pm.

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Your parents were right to council you to say thank you. Thanking people is important.

For one thing, I’m much more likely to help someone again who obviously appreciated my help in the past. (Maybe not the most altruistic response, but, hey, it’s true. And I don’t think I’m the only one.)

For another thing, it provides an opportunity to quantify just what someone did to help you and how it helped. And if the help wasn’t exactly what you asked for, that’s a good thing to figure out, too. Maybe you got more (or better stuff) than you asked for. Maybe you learned that your requests could be clearer.

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I have a friend who hand writes and mails (or hand delivers) wonderful thank you notes. She sent me one when she graduated from school. In fact, she sent them to everyone she felt had helped her earn her degree — her teachers, her friends, her family.

She was genuinely surprised at how touched people were by the gesture. She said to me “Don’t people thank people anymore?” “Not like that, ” I replied.

Think about how many hand-written thank you notes you’ve received. Now, think about how you feel about the people who’ve taken the time to thank you in that way.

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Try to thank people before, during and after they’ve helped you. It keeps you tapped in to the help people (or the Universe) is providing. So even if there is no specific person to thank, take time to appreciate and express gratitude for the progress you’ve made.

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Thank you for reading my blog, forwarding my posts to your friends, and for sharing your emails, ideas and comments. I value your support and your interest.

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Note: I won’t be sending a post this Friday due to the holiday. See you next Monday! ~sg

“You create your opportunities by asking for them.”
— Shakti Gawain

“If there is something to gain and nothing to lose by asking, by all means ask!”
— W. Clement Stone

“Anything that’s worth having is worth asking for. Some say yes and some say no.”
— Melba Colgrove

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I also like what my friend J had to say: “Asking for help is actually giving a gift. You are giving someone the opportunity to give … or to practice saying no.”

You need your people’s ideas, recommendations, referrals, attendance at your events, support and, yes, their money. (Hey, I called it Passion Pays the Bills not Passion Keeps You Comfortable. *wink*)

Because your passion needs to grow. It needs to move out of the safety of your head and into the world to play with others.

This will take a lot of work and a lot energy and you simply can’t supply all the fuel on your own.

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Asking for (or accepting) help is hard. And, like improv, the hard is different for each of us.

Maybe you have trouble admitting you need someone to teach you something (e.g. music theory, car repair, or how to install your new printer). Maybe you can’t let someone buy you dinner when you’re cash poor. Maybe you don’t like asking people to subscribe to your blog, come to your craft show or pledge money to your fund drive. Maybe you can’t ask a friend for a referral or recommendation to someone you know could help you with your passion.

Know that the request that makes you cringe inside (I could NEVER ask for that!) someone else can request without a second thought. Don’t feel bad. You can ask for stuff other people can’t ask for. Each of us has different arena in which asking feels awkward.

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Here’s a secret I’ve discovered …

Most of us like to help.

We like answering questions, being a resource, being able to point someone in the “right” (or at least a new) direction. We like the opportunity (excuse) to get in touch with former colleagues or friends with whom we’ve lost touch. We like the opportunity to share what we’ve learned. (It makes us feel smart and useful.) Sometimes we like the mini-vacation helping someone else lets us take from our own pursuits.

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A few years ago, my family went through some STUFF. This stuff meant I was traveling out of state often and sometimes on very short notice. Before heading out of town on one particular weekend, I dropped off my laundry at a friend’s house and called upon another friend to buy me groceries for when I returned. Prior to these events, I wouldn’t have even thought about asking for this kind of help. But I realized two things.

First, I needed help. (And if I was going to get it, I had to ask for it.) Second, I would do the same for them. If they asked me for these things, I would say yes (and I’d mean it).

So when you’re getting ready to ask someone for something, think about how you would respond to a similar request, remind yourself that people like to help and then … ask.