The Rules We Make Up

Posted by on Apr 13 2009 | Singing Lessons, Songtaneous

I don’t know about you, but I make up rules for myself all the time. Seriously, ALL OF THE TIME. (It’s only my improv practice that lets me know how often I do this.)

For example, I have a list of folks that I email about my upcoming performances and Songtaneous events (click here to join it *smile*). I send a fair amount of email to this list in the form of event notices and reminders, so I thought a monthly email which gathers all that info in one place would be a good idea. You know, keep my Right People in the loop.

Wait! It just happened! My passing thought turned into a made-up rule!

  • Thought: Link to a web page where you could read more about the idea of Right People.
  • Made-up Rule: You cannot use the term Right People unless you link somewhere!

So I spend 45 minutes on the web looking for this term when it suddenly (er … finally) occurs to me — you don’t really care. You can (and probably did) get the meaning of Right People from context and are just (patiently?) waiting for me to get on with the rest of this post.

Right, sorry, back to emailing my list …

I’ve wanted to spruce up the emails I send to my mailing list for a while now. But, because I haven’t designed a newsletter template yet (hello again, Stuck), I haven’t been sending a monthly email to my list.

  • Thought: Send a monthly email to my mailing list.
  • Thought: Ooh! Design an HTML newsletter that includes photos and links.
  • Made-up Rule: You can’t send a monthly email to your mailing list until you design your newsletter.

Yes, I can see reading it here that this doesn’t make any sense.

Who told me I had to finish my newsletter design before I could email my list? For that matter, who told me I had to start my newsletter design before I could email my list?

(Yes, Yes, I know, I did. But I didn’t know I was doing it.)

For me, finding the made-up rules is at least 80% of the battle. I visit this dynamic over and over again in improvising. Who said I couldn’t use words? Who said I can’t sing about what I see around me? Who said I have to fill all the space? Who said I had to stand still? Who said …?

Once I’ve weeded out my made-up rule, I can usually figure out a solution. Most of the time, it involves breaking my made-up rule.

What would that look like?

I could send monthly text emails to my list WHILE I work on my newsletter design. I mean, that would certainly take off some pressure and maybe even encourage Perfectionism and Procrastination to go play somewhere else.

What about you? Are you making up rules that hold you back?

More Bloggity Goodness

3 comments for now

3 Responses to “The Rules We Make Up”

  1. […] qualities. (I find I do language work best with other people. It helps me circumvent all the rules I make up for […]

    20 Apr 2009 at 11:31 am

  2. […] week, I mailed my first enewsletter about ways you can work or study with me this summer. (Yes, I finally finished it. Take that, Stuck!) And people responded (thanks, people!). They emailed me questions and even passed on my email to […]

    27 Apr 2009 at 12:38 pm

  3. […] collaborated to come up with intentions for how they want to create together. These aren’t rules, but reminders conceived to help banish BBHoF and let music […]

    10 Aug 2009 at 12:39 am

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