My sister got married this past weekend. My brother was the officiant and I (surprise, surprise) was asked to sing. The ceremony was beautiful and it included many improvisational moments from the impromptu announcement from the bride that she was not late for her groom (her secret arrival had proved a little too secret) to the many breaks to dry tears and collect thoughts.

What struck me most throughout the day was everyone’s willingness to be vulnerable and authentic. Vulnerability and authenticity are two important factors in making improv (and lots of other things in life) work.

Case in point, I used improvisational singing to develop my “toa-em” (toast + poem) for the reception. I wasn’t quite willing to “wing it,” but I also didn’t want my toast to be generic or sound over-rehearsed. So on my drive to Madison for the wedding, I got out my digital recorder and sang some ideas. Once I gave myself permission (always a challenge for me (c;) to move away from a standard toast format, I came up with something original, heartfelt and personal. I was really happy with the results. (And my sister and I both got a little teary – definitely a sign of success.)

…

A “Toa-em” To The Bride and Groom (8.31.2008)
What I wanted to say would be pleasing and perfect and profound
What I wanted to say would be historic or hysterical or, at least, his and hers
I’d be witty and gay on your special day adding just the right note
But what I wanted to say hasn’t shown up just yet

What I wanted to say is that I wish you every happiness
I wish you joy, boundless joy, easy travels, smooth sailing

What I wanted to say would be about …
Confidence in your commitment
Laughter in your loving
Caring in your creating
Kindness in your conflicts
Admiration in your accomplishments
Dependability in your doubts
Strength in your support
Delight in your dramas
Appreciation during your upsets
Patience in your partnership
Light and levity in your life

What I wanted to say was clearer in my mind
What I wanted to say didn’t take as much time
What I wanted to say is that I’m glad that I’m here
What I wanted to say would be about how dear
one of you is to me
and how dear one of you has become

What I wanted to say has flitted away
On its way from my heart to my mouth
So what I will say is my love to you both today