Passion Pays The Bills: Asking
Hopefully, if you’ve been talking your talk (and walking your walk! *smile*), you’ve assembled a pool of people. Expert people, fan people and even a few kindred spirits. Now you need to ask them for stuff.
You need your people’s ideas, recommendations, referrals, attendance at your events, support and, yes, their money. (Hey, I called it Passion Pays the Bills not Passion Keeps You Comfortable. *wink*)
Because your passion needs to grow. It needs to move out of the safety of your head and into the world to play with others.
This will take a lot of work and a lot energy and you simply can’t supply all the fuel on your own.
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Asking for (or accepting) help is hard. And, like improv, the hard is different for each of us.
Maybe you have trouble admitting you need someone to teach you something (e.g. music theory, car repair, or how to install your new printer). Maybe you can’t let someone buy you dinner when you’re cash poor. Maybe you don’t like asking people to subscribe to your blog, come to your craft show or pledge money to your fund drive. Maybe you can’t ask a friend for a referral or recommendation to someone you know could help you with your passion.
Know that the request that makes you cringe inside (I could NEVER ask for that!) someone else can request without a second thought. Don’t feel bad. You can ask for stuff other people can’t ask for. Each of us has different arena in which asking feels awkward.
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Here’s a secret I’ve discovered …
Most of us like to help.
We like answering questions, being a resource, being able to point someone in the “right” (or at least a new) direction. We like the opportunity (excuse) to get in touch with former colleagues or friends with whom we’ve lost touch. We like the opportunity to share what we’ve learned. (It makes us feel smart and useful.) Sometimes we like the mini-vacation helping someone else lets us take from our own pursuits.
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A few years ago, my family went through some STUFF. This stuff meant I was traveling out of state often and sometimes on very short notice. Before heading out of town on one particular weekend, I dropped off my laundry at a friend’s house and called upon another friend to buy me groceries for when I returned. Prior to these events, I wouldn’t have even thought about asking for this kind of help. But I realized two things.
First, I needed help. (And if I was going to get it, I had to ask for it.) Second, I would do the same for them. If they asked me for these things, I would say yes (and I’d mean it).
So when you’re getting ready to ask someone for something, think about how you would respond to a similar request, remind yourself that people like to help and then … ask.
