I’ve been feeling itchy, restless and a little stuck since my return from Italy. (The “cooldown” strikes again.)

I keep wondering what I’m supposed to be doing.

And (yes, somewhat neurotically,) I feel the pressure of the weeks before my next trip abroad ticking away. I need to grow, darn it!

(Note that my next trip isn’t until December, but I’ve always been a planner. *smile*)

…

I’ve also been wondering how I can hang on to the level of inspiration and excitement (not to mention the habit of practicing for numerous hours a day?) that I felt in Italy and immediately upon my return.

Where should I focus my attention?

…

Others have suggested recording projects, writing projects, putting together a band or group. And I admit to feeling some desire (or is it just pressure?) to do more performing.

But after talking things through with my (very patient) friends and family, it boils down to this:

I need to find a repertoire I can inhabit.

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I have always struggled with choosing between songs I like to sing and songs people like to hear me sing. *smile*

But I feel, particularly after the time I spent in Italy, that I need to work with music that means something to me.

Music that helps me communicate what I know or discover during the singing of it.

And this (fortunately?) means stepping outside genres and my current abilities (maybe songs altogether?) and into something else.

I’m just not sure what the “something else” is yet.

…

Part of my problem is that I love songs. From ballads to bossas, spirituals to shanties, cha chas to chants, arias to oratorios, I love all kinds of songs in all kinds of genres. And thanks to my time at McNally Smith, I feel capable of tackling even more genres and styles.

Unfortunately, this has made finding “my repertoire” more difficult (not less).

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I also love to improvise.

I think (feel) that “my repertoire” needs to combine both of these loves.

I know I want material I can practice stretching out on.

I know I want to work in a variety of configurations and with both other singers and instrumentalists. (I don’t know, however, if I want to work with other singers and instrumentalists at the same time? *smile*)

And, I want opportunities to practice blending the structure of a song with the free-wheeling experience of improvising.

…

So I need to find places to try out stuff. I’ll be on the lookout for singers and players willing to spend some time exploring with me.

I’ll let you know what I uncover.

More Bloggity Goodness

• Working with the Broken Pieces