If you have spent time here then you know that I pick what I call a “keyword” at the start of the year. If you are new here (welcome!), my annual keywords connect to other words and stand in for resolutions or goals.
I usually start thinking about my keyword for the upcoming year in December and then some time in January, I make my final selection and announce it in the 2nd or 3rd week of the new year.
Or in February. 🤷🏽♀️ While I feel some guilt for “missing” my annual deadline, I chose to wait for the capacity and energy to find a word that truly fit (and the time to write about and share it *smile*).
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As we ALL know, 2020 was a different kind of year. For me, it meant moving my teaching and music making online. I was (am) simultaneously grateful for and exhausted by this shift. Grateful that I was (am) able to continue doing the work I am called to do and exhausted by the research, testing and technology being online ALL OF THE TIME requires.
So part of the time I took in writing this blog post was tech fatigue and general fatigue, but I must also admit a reluctance / resistance to taking on the task of reviewing 2020 and last year’s keyword.
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My keyword for 2020 was VISIBLE.
Yeah.
It’s hard not to read anything into choosing to “put myself out there” in a year when we were all being advised to stay in. (What’s that saying? We make plans and the gods laugh? Anyhoo …)
I selected VISIBLE in January of 2020, because I was coming off a year of increasing my artistic profile. Venues and projects were beginning to seek me out and I was part of collaborations in projects and with people about which I was excited. I was doing some traveling within the state and getting to talk about improvising and music making to students at schools beside the one at which I teach. I was leading monthly circle singing gatherings around the cities and taking part in a monthly gathering of Black improvisers. I wanted to maintain this momentum and reach even more people in more places.
I wanted to show up. More important, I wanted to be seen.
Fast forward a couple of months and it was clear that singing and performing were going to change in ways we could not yet imagine. So much for being visible.
I licked my wounds for a while and then scheduled my first online workshop in May. Working with the tech was clunky, but the connection between the singers was real. I began attending online singing events, learning what I liked (and didn’t). In June, mere weeks after the murder of George Floyd, I hosted the first online Songtaneous. Again, I felt that musical connection. Equally important, I was able to include folks from the Twin Cities, Madison and St Louis in the session.
I began to understand that I could be VISIBLE in way I hadn’t considered. Thanks(?) to the pandemic, I am meeting and learning from song carriers around the world. My song circles now regularly include out of state singers. I reconnected with a group of Black and brown friends from my undergrad days around George Floyd’s murder and the Minneapolis uprisings. I sang to and with my neighbors and friends from my front yard over the summer. This past weekend, I co-facilitated on online singing ceremony (Air Prayers) which reached singers around the world.
VISIBLE also became tied to speaking up. I began sharing more of what I thought about singing, music making, and current events online and in my music selections.
2020 also increased the visibility of my racial labor.
The demand to respond to requests for my ideas and inputs, my networks and my integrating presence flooded in after the murder of George Floyd. With the uptick, the amount of racial labor I regularly complete with little thought (and no compensation) became evident. I started stepping away from these requests and situations. I began asking my white friends and colleagues to do their part of the work and have uncomfortable, difficult conversations about race on my behalf.
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So here we are (at last) in 2021.
My keyword for 2021 is CULTIVATE
cultivate (v) — to promote or improve the growth of (a plant, crop, etc.) by labor and attention; to develop or improve by education or training; train; refine; to promote the growth or development of (an art, science, etc.); foster; to prepare and work on (land) in order to raise crops; till.
The labor and attention elements of the definitions above really resonated for me.
The past pandemic year and the shifts in how and where I have been able to work/play have me thinking about labor. Especially, the labor we value. What (and who) we consider essential? Who is compensated well and for what kinds of labor? How lucky I was/am to already have experience in variable resource flow and supervising my self. How sad I find it that we will give resources to companies before we will give them to people. How little the economy has to do with the lived experience of so many people, especially Black and brown people. And, how we want/expect/require people to prove that they are valuable rather than assuming that each of is intrinsically.
The pandemic has further cemented the value of the arts for me. I would have struggled much more without the input and output of creative people during this time. I am beyond grateful for the songs, books, movies, paintings, videos, etc. I have imbibed in the past year.
As we move into our second year of the Covid pandemic, it is clear that how and where and when I “work” will continue to evolve. I chose CULTIVATE, because I know I will need to put energy into creating resources and resource flow for my collaborators and me. I will also continue to refine the ways in which I create and share my music.
A final reason to choose CULTIVATE. I am inspired by the work of a circle of friends, mostly women of color, to grow and distribute food this past summer and want to put more thought and labor toward food and food security.