“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.”
– Lyn Yutang

My singer friend M and I were talking the other day about singing for a living and realized “it’s like the to-do list never ends.”

I have worked many (and varied) jobs in the past, but this sensation of the never-ending to-do list seems particular to my self-employed life. I don’t remember feeling like I would never finish my to-dos in my past occupations.

Besides, when you work for somebody else, they assign the priorities. You don’t have to decide what’s important on a global scale. You are a cog in the machine. (Yes, sometimes I miss being a cog. *rueful smile*) 

Mostly, when you work for someone else, you are not in charge of everything. Even when I had a to-do list that was pages long, I always felt I could tackle — and eventually — finish it. (And finishing is important to me. *grin*)

When the list was really long, I could give myself permission not to add to the list. No, that’s not quite it — I could prioritize what else should be added to the list and usually add very little. And, I could be objective about the time it might take me to finish a list. Even if I spent a month or more on a project, I still felt like I was making progress.

…

Being in charge of everything is harder.

How much time should I spend looking for gigs? On teaching? On writing? Looking for money?

What about scheduling, software updates, paying bills, marketing, networking, (and writing blog posts *smile*) … ?

Sometimes I get overwhelmed just thinking about it.

…

In fact, that’s where I am right now.

Usually, I can revel in the freedom and flexibility of my self-employed life. The amazing people I have met, the beautiful places I have sung and the profound things I have learned about the music and myself in the last three years.

Every once in a while, I get stuck and indecisive and pine for the days when I walked into my cubicle, sat at my desk and crossed off every item on my list for the day.

…

So what can I do when I find myself wilting under the weight of the overwhelm?

Well, it almost always “the cooldown.” It means I am overtired.

It means I have forgotten (yes, again!) that do-it-yourself work takes more energy than follow-the-leader work.

It usually means I have just finished something big (or a lot of something smalls *grin*) and have to start again.

(And while I’m trying to rewrite my story about starting, it’s still a bit bumpy for me.)

…

It means making new to-do lists that include sleeping in, getting outside, watching TV and lots of time to do nothing.

(Hey, it’s my list, right?)

“It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast –
you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.”
– Eddie Cantor