As you may know, I am working on a full-length improvised vocal work. (It’s called Between and was/is inspired by my visit to the Canary Islands in 2010-11.)

Now, I guess it shouldn’t have surprised me that the creation process for an improvisational project would require so much flexibility.

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Something about moving an idea out of my mind and into the world always takes more energy than I expect. Rehearsals and artists have shifted and the first clear firework of this idea has faded a bit. I guess it’s simply the tension between limitless possibilities and a single desired reality that can make my head start to hurt.

Oh, and that I don’t know what I’m doing. *smile*

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I don’t mean that in a throw-up-my-hands, ditch-the-project “I have no idea what I’m doing!” kind of way.

I know what I’m attempting, I have a vision for which I’m striving, and I have faith that I can manifest it.

But I haven’t done this before so I am figuring out how to do it.

Now. With this project.

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I find that as we get older we find ourselves in the position of not knowing less and less often. Sometimes this is a conscious choice, other times it just … happens. We learn our jobs, our partners, our friends. We know what’s expected of us and how to do it.

And, it’s comfortable to know. It feels good to be confident and sure.

But I’ve learned to appreciate not knowing.

(Most of the time,) I like figuring things out. I find it satisfying and rewarding.

As I say to my scat singing students, one of my favorite things about improvising is “solving the problem.” It satisfies the part of me that has a great love of order and appreciation of resolution.

I dig that each of us gets to decide what the problem is for ourselves and I love that the solutions are as infinite and varied as we are.

I am fascinated by the fact that in one moment there is no solution and in the next one can present itself from our intuition, experience and knowledge.

By spending time not knowing, we learn new things and invite unanticipated answers. We acquire varied skills, meet unforeseen collaborators and — at least in my case — create new music.

clip from 1st Between rehearsal (Bruce Henry and me)

I didn’t perform much this spring so I was pleased to have the chance to flex my singing muscles a bit at our annual faculty recital.

In part, because my spring was very full and in part to push myself to keep practicing improvising in performance, I made the choice to sing by myself in the recital. I am glad I did. The Whitney Theater has a lovely sound system and I sank effortlessly into the sensation of being wrapped in the sound of my own voice.

When I teach improvising, I often talk about solving the problem or creating a problem to solve. At the start of this piece, you can hear me set myself the challenge of singing a well-known tune over an unknown (even to me) pattern. I even took a brief detour for a short story.
All in all, time well sung. *smile*

My weekend and concert Holiness and the Feminine Spirit in Duluth were beautiful and reverent.

I so enjoyed working with my fellow performers and meeting artist Janet McKenzie. We met Friday afternoon for our dress rehearsal and then convened Saturday afternoon a talk with the artist.

Janet is soft-spoken, quietly funny and passionate about her art. She explained that her work changed in the mid-90s when her nephew (then a little boy of color) couldn’t see himself in her artwork. And so her work opened.

That opening put her on the path to including people of color and, in particular, women of color in her paintings. She feels it is the work she was put here to do. (Having work you are called to do is an idea I can relate to. *smile*)

During the afternoon she talked about her work, her journey with her painting “Jesus of the People” and answered questions. Mary Lou, Regina and I also presented a preview of the evening’s music and dance.

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In the evening, we gathered at Peace Church to present this eclectic event of offerings inspired by her work. We sang, dance and, important to me, told stories.

A big part of my improvisation journey over the past year has been discovering stories in the music.

I love this story that I “found” during this weekend’s concert.

Here is the image that was projected during the story.

© Janet McKenzie Study #1